Norwegian Noms: Unleashing My Inner Fatgirl

There’s one in all of us. Admit it, maybe not an inner fatgirl but an inner fatboy. What (or who) is that? Well I just did an hour of upper body exercises, and then topped off the evening by eating half a pint of Ben & Jerry’s red velvet ice cream. Inner fatgirl. You know her (or him <- don’t wanna be sexist here). They’re that voice in your head telling you “do it” or “you’ll feel better afterwards” or, my fave, “you know you want to”. And you know what? They’re never wrong.

fat monica prom

This is my inner fatgirl (right) and her skinny best friend.

The best part about listening to that voice inside you? They’ll never lead you astray. I should also put it some context around what’s about to go down here. I did some heavy duty, proper, clean eating for about 6 weeks prior to an athletic competition. This involved eating more vegetables (ew), eating more protein (hells yea!), better carbs (w/e it’s cool), and cutting out ice cream, pizza, alcohol and perhaps my will to live. But, I survived, and for the better, placed 3rd in the Wall Street Decathlon.

That night I flew to Norway, and since it’s my vacation and I finished the competition, my inner fatgirl came alive and Mamba Mentality took a different look. Same attitude, different muscles exercised. When faced with extra sets of weights in the gym, Mamba Mentality will force you to push yourself to your limits and lift the shit out of them. When faced with heaping amounts of food and the possibility of never seeing it again, Mamba Mentality will say, buy it, then eat it.

thxgiving day pants

Going into Norway like…(but replace turkey with ice cream)

I present to you, inner fatgirl’s trip around Norway:

Oslo

There was a food hall!  Food halls are great because they allow you taste a little bit of everything, rather than remain standing in the middle of the place, indecisive as to where to splurge your money.  I did my fair share of testing a little bit of everything, including a tiramisu mini cupcake, fois gras bruschetta, smoked salmon bruschetta, and a delectable ice cream cone, topped with a cookie.

food hall collage

Besides running around, I did my fair share of walking with food. For instance, while taking in the modern view of the Astrup Feenley Museum, I enjoyed a delicious ice cream cone. While passing back to my hotel, I bought an egg tart for kicks. And, when I wasn’t walking, I was sitting…with a giant stick of meat. So I was still getting my protein in. I was also able to take in smaller meals, like a quick bite at a café with lox, scrambled eggs on toast. And topped that off with a slice of cake. Inner fat girl was pleased with Oslo.

oslo food collage

I believe the meats were: beef, whale, reindeer, lamb.

Bonus: When you need some energy, Tim Wendelboe coffee had some of the most flavorful coffee beans I’ve ever tasted. They are only in one location, however, so to take care of any immediate coffee cravings, I hit up one of the many, many coffee shops around town. There’s so many, you could probably visit a different one each day and not be done within a week.

tw coffee

Bergen

The fish market was the place to be. Fresh catches of the day, outdoors market, and all of the fish you could possibly eat. My favorite was probably their seasoned lox on a mini bagel. (Let’s be real, once you’ve had an NYC bagel, a Norwegian bagel isn’t anything too special). Now what was special was the fish, including the crayfish, fresh shrimp, fish cake, and a fried piece of cod, almost like a cod croquette.

fish market

All of the catch were on display. You could easily spend several days here trying seafood from different stands and not be sick of it. If raw fish isn’t your cup of tea, they had cooks present to grill, bake, broil, whatever you’d like to warm up your food. They could even do it paella style.

fish market collage

Next to the fish market? Inner fatgirl called and I got myself two scoop of ice cream to enjoy as we watched the sun attempt to set at 10pm.

ice cream bergen

Roadtrip!!!

We took a roadtrip with a hybrid vehicle, which means we gassed up once in 3 days of driving. But, we stopped at about 3-4 gas stations, if not more. Why you ask? Well gas stations in Norway have ice cream. And sometimes, they even have soft serve. Which, when we found out later, are delicious!

roadtrip collage

I made it a point to try out different novelty ice creams. Without boring you with words, shown above are some of the ice cream I remembered to take pictures of. What I want to highlight here is the triple scoop, soft serve in a waffle cone. In the true fashion of #mambamentality, go big, or go home.

flam ice cream

Of course, a girl’s gotta get her protein, and when a reindeer burger is on the menu, the only question you ask is, “You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen,  Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen, so which one is this?”

reindeer burger

Trondheim

Trondheim was supposed to known for food. Though we did spend the majority of the time walking around and up and down hills, we did find two great places for: meat and ice cream. Baklandet Skydsstation gave us a cozy, home feeling. The home cooked meal was delicious, and of course, we topped it off with hot chocolate with vanilla ice cream and warm apple cake with vanilla ice cream.

baccalao collage

The next day, we hit up a microbrewery and ordered two sandwiches. But, the burger was a double burger, and well…

microbrewery

A day of walking makes drinking that grapefruit infused beer, fish burger, and double burger with guac totally guilt free. Even without a day of walking? It’d be pretty much guilt free once you took a bite of it. We did have one regret though, DBF and I agreed, a double fish burger would’ve made the meal better.

Tromso

Up in the north, we hadn’t tried whale yet. True to our fashion, we walked into a restaurant that we couldn’t read the full name of: Emma’s Drømmekjøkken. The whale carpaccio was superb. The next day, we continued the whale fest by getting whale burgers at the Tromso food hall. To cap off our whale fest, we ordered fried whale age from a Japanese restaurant. Whale was, surprisingly, the middle ground between fish and beef. A bit confusing if you were anticipating a fish-like texture but wonderfully pleasing to chew down on that delicious piece of mammal meat.

whale collage

Whale done 3 ways: raw, grilled, fried. Yummy!

Special note: it appears that each city has a food hall (Mathallen) which everyone should take full advantage of. There’s plenty of opportunity to try small and large plates and to buy goodies to take home.

Again, any proper amount of protein was followed by massively indulging in some rich, creamy goodness. In Tromso, this ended up with me combining two previously eaten desserts. The lady at the counter asked me if I wanted toppings for my soft serve, like oreos. I told her I had it covered:

oreo soft serve

Needless to say, Norway was freaking awesome for satisfying my inner fatgirl. Sure society puts pressure on you to look like this:

skinny monica thxgiving

But sometimes, you should give in to who we all really want to be, because life isn’t fun unless you can free yourself from constraints and dance with a donut in your hand:

fat monica dance

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